A New England Country Wedding

It all began, as most weddings do, with a question. I asked her at the county fair, as befits a country gentleman. I said "Will you hold this for me?" As if handing her a piece of trash from the ice cream we had eaten earlier. Then as I dropped the ring into her outstretched hand I added "Forever?" She immediately said yes, with one condition. She wanted to get married here in New England. Among the mountains and the life that we are building. At one of her favorite hiking spots at Cathedral of the Pines.

Cathedral of the Pines is a 128 acre memorial to American war dead in the next town over. The Sloan family purchased the property in Rindge, New Hampshire in 1937 with then intent that their four children would build houses on it. The Great Hurricane of '38 blew down many of the trees on the property, opening up views of nearby Mount Monadnock. In 1945 the Sloans held a memorial service for their second son Sanderson, killed in action the year before on the site of what would have been his home. Which is now an open air sanctuary, with a stone altar, and a view of Monadnock behind it. As a veteran it holds special meaning to me too.

So I called them up the very next day and asked which Saturdays they had in October 2024. They said the 19th was open and our date was set. My only ask was that it be a small traditional ceremony and reception. A religious celebration conducted by the pastor of the congregational church I attend. New England weddings have a reputation for being lavish, but that is more of a thing among flatlanders or the seacoast. It is still common around here to get married at one's home. Or to have a potluck reception in the church basement. Most of our guests were coming in from out of state, and we did not want to put anyone to work, so we did hire some things out.

True to form my family was the first to arrive on Wednesday, with the rest of the guests getting here on Thursday. Instead of the traditional rehearsal dinner we decided on an open house. To give everyone who had not been to visit us yet a chance to see our home and little town. I am a pretty good cook and my son is actually a professional chef. I picked him up Friday morning for a full day of prep. Chili and cinnamon rolls, butternut squash soup, hot ham and cheese sliders, tons of charcuterie, goat cheese crostini, and fresh baked chocolate chip cookies. There are conversations that happen in the kitchen with someone. Because the work at hand distracts you enough to be a little more unfiltered. We talked about the girl he is dating, where that is going, and his desire to get married and have a family. Things he has not said to me before.

We do not entertain often and a couple of dozen people in our house was a lot. But everyone had a great time and the evening went by too fast. In the morning she went off to get her hair done, and I started running the errands that needed done. More ice, more beer. By the time I caught my breath it was time to go. It was a perfect October day. Sunny and a high of 65 and the foliage at or a little past the peak of color. The guests seemed small out in the enormity of nature and yet that felt right and good too.

We played the old Pat Boone song "Cathedral In The Pines." The went into Wagner's Bridal Chorus from Lohengrin. I did not see her before her father walked her down the aisle. All smiles and braids and lace. Beautiful. The ceremony was a blur but parts of it stand out. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, the rings, the kiss, the Lord's Prayer. Voices joining that I would guess had not prayed in a while. Mendelssohn's Wedding March playing us off into a copse of trees for a blessed moment of stillness before so many photographs.

We held the reception in Hilltop House. A kind of stone hunting lodge on the property. It kicked off with a cocktail hour with charcuterie, crudités, and a couple different types of warm passed appetizers. Instead of hiring a bartender I filled a big metal livestock trough with ice and soda, beer, and canned cocktails. Dinner was a hog roast (we are from Iowa), mashed potatoes, mac and cheese, coleslaw, and cornbread. I had hired a local baker to make cupcakes and a bride and groom cake. But it seemed like they were not delivered come reception time.

There were speeches. My Best Man and best and oldest friend recounted our friendship. We have known each other since high school, though did not become friends until later, when we enlisted into the same Combat Engineer battalion. He has always had my back. The Maid of Honor talked about how they have always known each other, since before my bride was born feeling her move in her mother's belly. My son was pressed into service to make a speech without preparation. The things he said were so real, and so heartfelt I will not try to recount them, but they wrecked me and it was all I could do to hold back my tears. I tried to say some things about what she means to me. Then we danced the first dance to Matt Hartke's "Sign Me Up." And she danced with her father to Lee Ann Womack's "I Hope You Dance." He is a much better dancer than I am.

The night went on and some of our guests started to leave. Upon learning that we had no cake a couple of our friends surprised us with a cake they ran and bought from Market Basket. To make sure we had a cake cutting photo. I had actually officiated their wedding a few years ago. If you show up for others they will show up for you. But at the end of the night when we were trying to figure out what to do with all the leftover food, it turned out that the cakes had been in the refrigerator at the venue to whole time. The baker delivered them during the ceremony and there was no one around to tell. So we have a funny story to tell and I will be taking a few dozen leftover cupcakes to church tomorrow.

I do not feel like we got to say an adequate goodbye to anyone. But I guess that is how wedding receptions are. We were leaving at 3 AM to catch a train to New York, and then get on a cruise of New England and Canada. Half of the places we visited are less than a three hour drive from our home. But we are in love with New England and anyway how often do you get to see them from the sea? Now that we have been home for several days, and are somewhat back to routine, not that much has changed but a sense of relief. That the next chapter of our life can begin.